22 August 2009

I wrote something!

So I'm not saying it's fantastic, but it's using the prompt of "writing a poem of return." Here it is.

Home

This town lies
eight wide states away from you.

The smell of this house—
jars of Moroccan lemons, fresh towels,
wild fennel from the yard
my husband's sweat on my skin—
doesn't include you.

You have never sat on this couch,
one ankle crossing the other knee,
staring through my blouse
during a small dinner party.

But I keep opening the front door,
I continue to let you in.


___________

note:

what i like here is how the first line and the last line work alone . . . "This town lies . . . I continue to let you in." I don't even remember where i read about that as a "hidden" technique for adding meaning. i also like that first line break, that makes the mini-sentence "This town lies." it's funny, to me, how quickly those kind of choices become important to me in a little breezy exercise. lol.

3 comments:

  1. This is fantastic, Amy.

    I wish I could read more of your work.

    When are you going to get a book-length ms together and let me read it? :P

    ReplyDelete
  2. you'll regret that wish, cin . . . i'll bombard you if you don't watch yourself. lol!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Bombard away! It's a secret dream of mine to publish an Amy L. Sargent book. :P

    My email address is cindykelly@gmail.com still, so send me your home mailing address. I have stuff to send you!

    Will you be traveling east for the holidays? I couldn't figure out how to reach you when you were here recently. :)

    ReplyDelete

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