05 November 2020

So anxious about other stuff, rejections are just a blip.

It's been a hectic, stressful week . . . the presidential election certainly has everyone on the edge of their sofas, but I'm also at the end of Week 6 in my school term. I have just so much grading to get done this week, and my nerves are shot. Student emails are out of control some mornings--they're all stressed out and overworked and on their last nerve, too. I feel like I spend the first four hours of every day just clawing my way back to where I left off the day before. It sucks! 

That being said, I have a therapy appointment in a couple of hours. I am SO grateful I scheduled it--I've been doing pretty well, and this appointment is actually four weeks out from my last appointment. I think Barb and I are on the verge of taking a break, but I'm reluctant to let go of the security of at least a monthly appointment. When I look at the last year, there's been a lot going on. I just passed the year anniversary of my divorce settlement, and he passed away in late February. I've been on COVID-19 lockdown for seven months now, and it's not looking like that's changing anytime soon. Sometimes I stop and realize everything that I've been shouldering, and I'm lucky I'm doing so well. I think it helps that I live alone, and that I live so far from family--where that would drive some people crazy, this time alone has been restorative and productive. 

I was planning on flying home to West Virginia for Christmas, but with COVID cases climbing everywhere, it seems unwise. I live in a relatively safe pocket of Oregon, and my parents are living in a fairly safe county in West Virginia. I am just too worried about what could happen as I sweep through three to four airports during holiday season on my way there. I think it's too big of a risk. My mom is disappointed, but we're hopeful that I could visit in late winter/early spring, since I'll be teaching remotely until April.

ANYHOW, amid all this other stimuli, I've received two rejection letters--one from the minnesota review, and one from decomp. I was hopeful about the minnesota review submission; I sent them a really strong set of poems, and I thought something might catch their eye. decomp did welcome me to submit again, which was nice. decomp is a journal I think of as one I know I've seen multiple times during the AWP Book Fairs . . . so in my brain's file drawers, they're an AWP Book Fair publication. the minnesota review is on the list of journals I hope to see my work in one day. It's been around forever, and it has a solid reputation. Hopefully, next time!

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