26 December 2008
25 December 2008
not a good christmas.
so . . . it's christmas day and my cat, Jack, is dying.
steve had to work, my car [complete with broken-out back window] is still parked at the Portland airport [a story i still need to sit down and type out], and i'm alone on christmas night with a cat who won't quit wailing.
his gums are all ulcerated, and he's stopped drinking and eating.
he's been sick with chronic kidney disease for almost a year. through subcutaneous fluids and special cat food, he's made it pretty far. so, we knew it was coming.
however, about six weeks ago, we took him to the vet--i was sure he was going to be put to sleep. the vet was encouraging, though, and gave him a steroid shot and sent us on our way. he said he might have another 3 to 6 months if we were lucky, but at least another month.
he was doing pretty well--still wasting, but alert & fairly active.
then, i went away for a week. i came home to a cat who may not have eaten the entire time i was gone. i know it's not my fault or steve's, but i never considered that he'd just give up if i wasn't at home with him. and, that's what it seems like he did.
so, he's not really doing anything but crying, like he's in a good deal of pain. we have to wait until morning to take him to the vet . . . so he'll be at about 36 hours of feeling like total shit by the time we can get there.
and that's if they'll take us first thing in the morning.
i'm a wreck. i can't stop crying, and this christmas sucks.
steve had to work, my car [complete with broken-out back window] is still parked at the Portland airport [a story i still need to sit down and type out], and i'm alone on christmas night with a cat who won't quit wailing.
his gums are all ulcerated, and he's stopped drinking and eating.
he's been sick with chronic kidney disease for almost a year. through subcutaneous fluids and special cat food, he's made it pretty far. so, we knew it was coming.
however, about six weeks ago, we took him to the vet--i was sure he was going to be put to sleep. the vet was encouraging, though, and gave him a steroid shot and sent us on our way. he said he might have another 3 to 6 months if we were lucky, but at least another month.
he was doing pretty well--still wasting, but alert & fairly active.
then, i went away for a week. i came home to a cat who may not have eaten the entire time i was gone. i know it's not my fault or steve's, but i never considered that he'd just give up if i wasn't at home with him. and, that's what it seems like he did.
so, he's not really doing anything but crying, like he's in a good deal of pain. we have to wait until morning to take him to the vet . . . so he'll be at about 36 hours of feeling like total shit by the time we can get there.
and that's if they'll take us first thing in the morning.
i'm a wreck. i can't stop crying, and this christmas sucks.
21 December 2008
where do i think I'M going?
i have a sneaking suspicion that i'm not getting home today, either. hmph. snow is hitting the PNW hard, from seattle to eugene it looks like several more inches of snow today.
oh. my. god.
i'm never getting home. i do fly into dallas today, so i'll probably end up stuck there. nice.
oh. my. god.
i'm never getting home. i do fly into dallas today, so i'll probably end up stuck there. nice.
20 December 2008
Shopping in Pittsburgh.
i did spend a good amount of time shopping this week . . . just sick of Roseburg's lack of stores. it was a nice change!
i hit Pat Catan's craft & art supplies, because we don't have them in OR, and they're cheaper than art supply shops in OR. I bought some acrylic paint [expensive hues--green gold and cobalt teal, for example--that are 40% off here, every day], some lumieres [which i've never had, but want to try SOOOO badly], and some beading supplies. I bought about 150 dollars worth of art and jewelry goodies. LOL.
i also got a chance to shop at Marshall's, which netted me three new cardigan sweaters and a little wool bolero sweater for work. i am a big-time cardigan junkie, especially when they are completely obnoxious.
i buzzed through Arvey office supply on the North Side of pittsburgh . . . bought a ream of paper, some other packages of papers and envelopes in 100% recycled brown paper. The ream of paper is a replacement for one that recently ran out--i guess i'm a big-time paper snob, even when it comes to what i put in my home printer. lol.
i also stopped at old navy. there's one in eugene, about 75 minutes from roseburg, but it's nasty--always sloppy and dirty, and small. so i stocked up on tee shirts and also got a sweater.
a note on tee shirts. my boobs are big--double Ds. my cats like to latch on to my boobs when i hold them, and they often pick little holes in my tee shirts, along my chest. so, i run through tee shirts like crazy. :)
so, i'm excited about my haul, as unspectacular as it really is.
my coolest purchase is this huge elf . . . i bought her at Roxanne's Dried Flowers in the Strip District of Pittsburgh . . . she's handknit, and her clothes are felted wool. she was pricey, but she's adorable. there will be a photo forthcoming, i promise.
can you tell i'm bored? well, i am bored AND i want to be at home, where i can play with my new goodies!
i hit Pat Catan's craft & art supplies, because we don't have them in OR, and they're cheaper than art supply shops in OR. I bought some acrylic paint [expensive hues--green gold and cobalt teal, for example--that are 40% off here, every day], some lumieres [which i've never had, but want to try SOOOO badly], and some beading supplies. I bought about 150 dollars worth of art and jewelry goodies. LOL.
i also got a chance to shop at Marshall's, which netted me three new cardigan sweaters and a little wool bolero sweater for work. i am a big-time cardigan junkie, especially when they are completely obnoxious.
i buzzed through Arvey office supply on the North Side of pittsburgh . . . bought a ream of paper, some other packages of papers and envelopes in 100% recycled brown paper. The ream of paper is a replacement for one that recently ran out--i guess i'm a big-time paper snob, even when it comes to what i put in my home printer. lol.
i also stopped at old navy. there's one in eugene, about 75 minutes from roseburg, but it's nasty--always sloppy and dirty, and small. so i stocked up on tee shirts and also got a sweater.
a note on tee shirts. my boobs are big--double Ds. my cats like to latch on to my boobs when i hold them, and they often pick little holes in my tee shirts, along my chest. so, i run through tee shirts like crazy. :)
so, i'm excited about my haul, as unspectacular as it really is.
my coolest purchase is this huge elf . . . i bought her at Roxanne's Dried Flowers in the Strip District of Pittsburgh . . . she's handknit, and her clothes are felted wool. she was pricey, but she's adorable. there will be a photo forthcoming, i promise.
can you tell i'm bored? well, i am bored AND i want to be at home, where i can play with my new goodies!
Trapped in West Virginia.
so, i checked the airlines online today, packed my bags, and went to the airport. then, portland's airport closed. so all flights into portland, oregon were cancelled for the day. sigh.
so, i waited for my parents to drive back to the airport to retrieve me, and now i'm waiting to leave tomorrow at 4:30, flying to dallas and then to portland.
oh my god. then, in my parents' garage, i realized my expensive, supposedly sturdy all-terrain duffel has split along one side. if i HAD flown today, my belongings would have ended up spilled all over a plane or airport's back room . . . not pretty.
so i have to go out in the morning and purchase a new suitcase or duffel to get my things home. sigh. a bit of a mess.
and, i miss my husband and my cats. i wanna go home.
so, i waited for my parents to drive back to the airport to retrieve me, and now i'm waiting to leave tomorrow at 4:30, flying to dallas and then to portland.
oh my god. then, in my parents' garage, i realized my expensive, supposedly sturdy all-terrain duffel has split along one side. if i HAD flown today, my belongings would have ended up spilled all over a plane or airport's back room . . . not pretty.
so i have to go out in the morning and purchase a new suitcase or duffel to get my things home. sigh. a bit of a mess.
and, i miss my husband and my cats. i wanna go home.
16 December 2008
Gabriel Brothers.
i'm here, in northern west virginia, at my parents' house. today, i'm using wifi at the local hospital . . . my grandmother is having some kind of outpatient surgery today, so i'm sitting here with my dad. :)
i'm tickled . . . though i hate shopping here for the most part, there is a store named Gabriel Bros. here in Weirton. We don't have these out west, and the one here in town is better than most of the others in the chain that i've been to. so, i went out there yesterday afternoon and spent about dollars on two huge bags of fabulosity. :)
I bought . . .
1. a pair of merrell shoes--brown leather mary-janes that look very artisan, with boiled wool trim and a big button closure on the strap . . . i tried a pair of these on last spring at Little's Shoes [in the Squirrel Hill neighborhood of Pittsburgh], and they were certainly more $$$ than the $19.99 i paid last night. woot!
2. two Woolrich shirts for the big Steve . . . one wool, one flannel, each one was 12.99. very nice, and he's become a woolrich junkie since we've moved to oregon. there is a damp kind of cold there, one that he feels always needs to be combatted with thick, plaid flannel. i might be married to paul bunyan's long-lost [but quite oafy & a little gay] brother.
3. two burned-out velvet scarves--one beige and pieced with lace, and one black with fringe. really lovely, and 4.99 apiece.
4. a thin silk scarf in black, and a cotton batik scarf for 99 cents each.
5. a sisal boot/shoe scraper for the porch for 9.99 . . . i've looked everywhere for one, and only could find them through ll bean, and i didn't want to pay that much for one when i was actually going to be scraping mud and dog poop on it. lol.
6. a pair of Anne Taylor suede flats with grograin ribbon bows on the front for 7.00 on clearance. holy crap!
7. a black cotton, gored skirt with blue embroidery, from Anne Taylor, for 7.99.
8. a label-free silk cardigan in a purple/wine color for 9.99.
9. two pads of paper from Urban Outfitters and a 6-pack of thank you notes from Anthropologie . . . 99 cents each. the notecards alone were 14.95 regular price!
10. an iPod charger for 5.99 and a new pair of mini, custom-fit ear buds for 3.99. i left mine at home, so they're for the plane!
i may go back and snap up a few more of the Urban Outfitters pads . . . they had composition books, too, that were moleskine-sized and also 99 cents each, and would always make good stockpiled gifts for RAKs [random acts of kindness] for mail artist friends and poet friends alike.
oh, gabriel bros. how i miss them.
i'm tickled . . . though i hate shopping here for the most part, there is a store named Gabriel Bros. here in Weirton. We don't have these out west, and the one here in town is better than most of the others in the chain that i've been to. so, i went out there yesterday afternoon and spent about dollars on two huge bags of fabulosity. :)
I bought . . .
1. a pair of merrell shoes--brown leather mary-janes that look very artisan, with boiled wool trim and a big button closure on the strap . . . i tried a pair of these on last spring at Little's Shoes [in the Squirrel Hill neighborhood of Pittsburgh], and they were certainly more $$$ than the $19.99 i paid last night. woot!
2. two Woolrich shirts for the big Steve . . . one wool, one flannel, each one was 12.99. very nice, and he's become a woolrich junkie since we've moved to oregon. there is a damp kind of cold there, one that he feels always needs to be combatted with thick, plaid flannel. i might be married to paul bunyan's long-lost [but quite oafy & a little gay] brother.
3. two burned-out velvet scarves--one beige and pieced with lace, and one black with fringe. really lovely, and 4.99 apiece.
4. a thin silk scarf in black, and a cotton batik scarf for 99 cents each.
5. a sisal boot/shoe scraper for the porch for 9.99 . . . i've looked everywhere for one, and only could find them through ll bean, and i didn't want to pay that much for one when i was actually going to be scraping mud and dog poop on it. lol.
6. a pair of Anne Taylor suede flats with grograin ribbon bows on the front for 7.00 on clearance. holy crap!
7. a black cotton, gored skirt with blue embroidery, from Anne Taylor, for 7.99.
8. a label-free silk cardigan in a purple/wine color for 9.99.
9. two pads of paper from Urban Outfitters and a 6-pack of thank you notes from Anthropologie . . . 99 cents each. the notecards alone were 14.95 regular price!
10. an iPod charger for 5.99 and a new pair of mini, custom-fit ear buds for 3.99. i left mine at home, so they're for the plane!
i may go back and snap up a few more of the Urban Outfitters pads . . . they had composition books, too, that were moleskine-sized and also 99 cents each, and would always make good stockpiled gifts for RAKs [random acts of kindness] for mail artist friends and poet friends alike.
oh, gabriel bros. how i miss them.
13 December 2008
A Poem.
It's been a while since I put up any poetry, and I thought with AWP looming closer and closer, I'd shake off a few older pieces. I wrote this, actually, at AWP in Atlanta, almost two years ago. My friend Adam laughed at it, because it was a "hot" poem. I frowned, and sent it out.
Learning Russian
He missed a belt loop
that morning, drank instant coffee
in a Pittsburgh hotel,
hurried to dress.
His shirt untucked,
underneath a pilled crewneck sweater,
Shetland wool. Finger in ear,
he adjusted his own volume. I wondered,
Why would he own a wool sweater
if he lives in Northern California?
or, maybe that was why it was pilled,
pulled from the back of a closet
part of his East Coast equipment
with suitcase, garment bag, umbrella.
He could be the poet who ended my marriage;
hair hung in his Eastern block face.
Younger than me, more famous
with one slim book
than I could be with four.
I could be his American scandal.
His glasses fogged as I stepped out
of the shower, wet handprints
on tattersall stomach, pressed
a warm imprint on his back,
his rumpled khakis softened, steamed.
He read me a poem he wanted
to teach later that morning,
his voice a Transylvanian whisper.
I smelled powdered milk
on his close mouth,
his words,
my humid neck.
It was accepted for publication at the first place I sent it, and almost in the same form it in which it was originally written.
I had just attended a Saturday workshop given by Ilya Kaminsky in Pittsburgh, at Gist Street. I was surprised by how handsome he was, on top of how talented and articulate. I wrote this a few days later. He really did miss a belt loop on the morning of the workshop.
Learning Russian
He missed a belt loop
that morning, drank instant coffee
in a Pittsburgh hotel,
hurried to dress.
His shirt untucked,
underneath a pilled crewneck sweater,
Shetland wool. Finger in ear,
he adjusted his own volume. I wondered,
Why would he own a wool sweater
if he lives in Northern California?
or, maybe that was why it was pilled,
pulled from the back of a closet
part of his East Coast equipment
with suitcase, garment bag, umbrella.
He could be the poet who ended my marriage;
hair hung in his Eastern block face.
Younger than me, more famous
with one slim book
than I could be with four.
I could be his American scandal.
His glasses fogged as I stepped out
of the shower, wet handprints
on tattersall stomach, pressed
a warm imprint on his back,
his rumpled khakis softened, steamed.
He read me a poem he wanted
to teach later that morning,
his voice a Transylvanian whisper.
I smelled powdered milk
on his close mouth,
his words,
my humid neck.
12 December 2008
my christmas cards.
this is the image--in my current, surprisingly festive header--that i used to make my christmas cards this year. i have just made them, tonight . . . so i'll probably end up addressing them in an airplane this weekend.
and a note on bracelets.
i love bracelets. i love looking at skinny women, in their skinny-wristed bangles, and wishing i could do that. but, bangles are usually too small for me and my meaty wrists . . . even when i'm thinner, i have thick wrists.
so, my bracelets are always made to fit a beefy wrist . . . because i HATE getting bracelets and then not being able to wear them because they are weirdly too tight.
i should open a chubby-girl bracelet shop on etsy. lol.
11 December 2008
christmas gifts . . .
so if you ever thought i was kinda scroogey . . . these are going out in the mail tomorrow as surprises for a few mail art friends.
katie prins in new jersey [BigKay] and juli waller in canada [grrrdjules] will get the "k" and the "j" respectively, and the "s" is for sue cheffins in the UK [susietex].
they are made, perhaps obviously, with vintage + new beads, with vintage buttons and game pieces.
oh, i love my dremel. i can put holes in all kinds of crap.
10 December 2008
Profanity.
sooooo . . . i rec'd an email from the Dean of Arts & Sciences that asks me to make an appointment to speak with the dean this week.
apparently, a student has complained that i used profanity in a class meeting sometime in the last week or two. i am concerned, as it's probably going to result in disciplinary action during my first probationary quarter at the school.
however, i'm hoping that all goes well and that we're able to come to some sort of agreement and verbal warning. i do love this school--and i'm really not feeling good about the situation.
on top of the stress i'm already feeling about the meeting [which is tomorrow afternoon], i also only know that the student reported that the incident had taken place "in the last week or so." to my knowledge, i haven't used profanity in the last week or so . . . i'm hoping that it's not a case of my forgetting that i casually, repeatedly drop the F-bomb in all my writing classes.
about a month ago, i did completely blow up at my 8:00 am class, though . . . and i'm thinking that the situation in question was THAT morning. i had 4 to 5 older [25-40 years old] male students in my 8:00 class, and on that day, we were in the lab. two of the students came into class late, then proceeded to talk loudly with the other students in that small group about football, news, and other unrelated-to-class items. by 15 minutes into class, they finally started doing some half-baked work.
these classes are 50 minutes long. with 8 to 10 minutes left in the class meeting--after arriving late and being disruptive--three of these male students put on their coats, packed up their books, and STOOD UP to talk to one another, again about unrelated topics.
i said something . . . several things. about lack of respect, about showing up late, about packing up to leave before being dismissed, about my having to holler over top of chit-chat and how that wasn't fair to other classmates. all students sat down, silent.
i went on . . . saying, "don't sit down now. class is over. i'm done for today. just get out of here."
everyone sat still--no one moved to leave.
i yelled, "I MEAN IT. JUST GET THE F*CK OUT OF MY CLASSROOM."
really nice. and classy.
i apologized immediately to the students who were still there--those who were still trying to finish their work, and those i didn't include in the group of students who were so rude. and, the next class meeting, i apologized to the class at large.
it was really, really unprofessional, and i didn't mean to do it--i was angry, and i still am angry when i think about the situation, but i didn't need to swear at the class. i said all of this to them--and they all seemed understanding, saying other instructors they've had have occasionally done the same thing. i didn't assume that meant everything was okay, but i hoped all had smoothed itself out.
but, this HAS to be the occasion that a student is referencing in reporting my behavior. i am horrified to have to defend myself. i'm going to try very hard not to defend my behavior at all--and just be honest. i know every action has a context, but even given this context, i'm really embarrassed.
ugh. just what i need in the middle of final exam week. to feel like an amateur, unreliable instructor. to feel like the school will now think it made a mistake hiring me. hissssss.
apparently, a student has complained that i used profanity in a class meeting sometime in the last week or two. i am concerned, as it's probably going to result in disciplinary action during my first probationary quarter at the school.
however, i'm hoping that all goes well and that we're able to come to some sort of agreement and verbal warning. i do love this school--and i'm really not feeling good about the situation.
on top of the stress i'm already feeling about the meeting [which is tomorrow afternoon], i also only know that the student reported that the incident had taken place "in the last week or so." to my knowledge, i haven't used profanity in the last week or so . . . i'm hoping that it's not a case of my forgetting that i casually, repeatedly drop the F-bomb in all my writing classes.
about a month ago, i did completely blow up at my 8:00 am class, though . . . and i'm thinking that the situation in question was THAT morning. i had 4 to 5 older [25-40 years old] male students in my 8:00 class, and on that day, we were in the lab. two of the students came into class late, then proceeded to talk loudly with the other students in that small group about football, news, and other unrelated-to-class items. by 15 minutes into class, they finally started doing some half-baked work.
these classes are 50 minutes long. with 8 to 10 minutes left in the class meeting--after arriving late and being disruptive--three of these male students put on their coats, packed up their books, and STOOD UP to talk to one another, again about unrelated topics.
i said something . . . several things. about lack of respect, about showing up late, about packing up to leave before being dismissed, about my having to holler over top of chit-chat and how that wasn't fair to other classmates. all students sat down, silent.
i went on . . . saying, "don't sit down now. class is over. i'm done for today. just get out of here."
everyone sat still--no one moved to leave.
i yelled, "I MEAN IT. JUST GET THE F*CK OUT OF MY CLASSROOM."
really nice. and classy.
i apologized immediately to the students who were still there--those who were still trying to finish their work, and those i didn't include in the group of students who were so rude. and, the next class meeting, i apologized to the class at large.
it was really, really unprofessional, and i didn't mean to do it--i was angry, and i still am angry when i think about the situation, but i didn't need to swear at the class. i said all of this to them--and they all seemed understanding, saying other instructors they've had have occasionally done the same thing. i didn't assume that meant everything was okay, but i hoped all had smoothed itself out.
but, this HAS to be the occasion that a student is referencing in reporting my behavior. i am horrified to have to defend myself. i'm going to try very hard not to defend my behavior at all--and just be honest. i know every action has a context, but even given this context, i'm really embarrassed.
ugh. just what i need in the middle of final exam week. to feel like an amateur, unreliable instructor. to feel like the school will now think it made a mistake hiring me. hissssss.
06 December 2008
oh, tannenbaum.
we picked out our tree today, and decorated it . . . it's a gloriously big tree, between 8 and 9 feet tall. i had a bit of a sad day, as i realized how much of our christmas stuff had to be left behind when we moved . . . we still have lots of tree ornaments, but not much else. sigh.
but, the tree looks great, and we tied red and green ribbons on the necks of all the crows in the house [don't ask--we have a lotta crows].
05 December 2008
A shout out for James McAvoy
While grading on Thursday morning, I watched Rory O'Shea Was Here, a film in which James McAvoy plays a quadriplegic guy who befriends another guy with CP. Regardless, at the start of the film, he's in a wheelchair, but wearing a black leather jacket, a nose ring and bleached hair in short spikes . . . and holy crap if he doesn't look just like my ex-boyfriend Jeff Lewis. I don't have a copy of a photo of Jeff on my computer from when he was younger, but here is a shot of him in 2002 that I found on the internet.
I haven't talked to Jeff in years . . . he called me about 10 days before my wedding [six years ago] to tell me he was getting divorced. That was the last time we spoke . . . he lives in the Houston area, I think, where he's been for at least 15 years.
I never even really thought James McAvoy was as handsome as people claim . . . but now I might have to reconsider. Even rocking a wheelchair [which Jeff didn't], he made me a bit misty for my misspent youth and the romances therein.
I haven't talked to Jeff in years . . . he called me about 10 days before my wedding [six years ago] to tell me he was getting divorced. That was the last time we spoke . . . he lives in the Houston area, I think, where he's been for at least 15 years.
I never even really thought James McAvoy was as handsome as people claim . . . but now I might have to reconsider. Even rocking a wheelchair [which Jeff didn't], he made me a bit misty for my misspent youth and the romances therein.
Santa better get it together . . .
Steve's been sick for a week with a nasty intestinal flu . . . out of work and out of commission. So, not a lot of dough for the holidays, and not a lot of funds available for me to pack away as pin money during my upcoming trip to Pittsburgh.
I had plans for some tattoo work, for a shopping trip to Arvey [paper heaven, or the stationers on the North Side], and to plow through Dick's and Sports Deli for Steeler goodies to bring back for Steve. I also wanted to spend hours in Gabriel Bros. in Weirton, because we don't have one here. No dice. I have to be frugal.
This also means that I can't raid Christmas Market in Eugene for lots of goodies to take with me for family in WV . . . or goodies for me that I could buy there under the guise of Christmas shopping for the family in WV.
I hate being broke.
I asked my parents for three pairs of shoes and three books for the holiday. This may be all Santa can offer this year.
Steve can't even get off the couch long enough to come pick out a tree with me! And because of the move, we have very little holiday decor, and no $$$ to buy new stuff.
hisssssssss.
I had plans for some tattoo work, for a shopping trip to Arvey [paper heaven, or the stationers on the North Side], and to plow through Dick's and Sports Deli for Steeler goodies to bring back for Steve. I also wanted to spend hours in Gabriel Bros. in Weirton, because we don't have one here. No dice. I have to be frugal.
This also means that I can't raid Christmas Market in Eugene for lots of goodies to take with me for family in WV . . . or goodies for me that I could buy there under the guise of Christmas shopping for the family in WV.
I hate being broke.
I asked my parents for three pairs of shoes and three books for the holiday. This may be all Santa can offer this year.
Steve can't even get off the couch long enough to come pick out a tree with me! And because of the move, we have very little holiday decor, and no $$$ to buy new stuff.
hisssssssss.
04 December 2008
McDonald's in Roseburg.
so yesterday, in the hour i had off from work between 2:00 and 3:00 pm [on wednesdays, i teach at 8:00 am, 10:00 am, 11:00 am, 1:00 pm and then from 5:30 to 8:20 pm], i decided to stop at McDonald's and buy something to eat.
i'm sitting in my car, trying to decide if i want to be a complete swine, or if i'm just going to try to be an average person with an average appetite. i really want a 20-piece case of chicken mcnuggets. but, i opt for a double cheeseburger, and an order of fries. no drink, just the sandwich and fries.
at the first window, i had the cashier my 3.20, and from behind him i hear, "mrs sargent!"
one of my students.
oh thank goodness for small miracles, that i wasn't buying a jenga-tower of mcnuggets with a shake and fries . . . and pies and a whole hot mess of fat & acne. no one wants to be the chubby teacher caught in the drive thru buying enough food for three people.
so, bullet dodged. this time.
So I'm not a Dancing Girl. Officially.
i didn't get a rejection letter, but i also didn't get a place on the just-posted 2009 lineup at dancing girl press. fuuuuuhhhck.
but, on a glass-half-full note, no one i know is on the list, either. i'd be crackin' skulls if i saw anyone i hated on there.
03 December 2008
Instructor Observation
So one of my classes was observed by the dean of arts & sciences at UCC today. It is one of my better classes, but they were atrocious today.
No one wanted to work on their in-class activity, everyone talked over one another, asked unrelated questions, and basically horrified me. One student actually asked me, "What is, exactly, MLA citation format?" Oh. My. God.
Nothing like being a probationary faculty member and having the worst observation ever. Students who haven't attended half the class meetings showed up and asked ridiculous questions, and I kept waiting to wake up in bed, that today was some sort of nightmare.
Now, it is the penultimate class before finals, so the dean has to realize that he is going to observe some all-out student hysteria, but I would've passed out Ritalin if I would have known this was how things were going to go.
No one wanted to work on their in-class activity, everyone talked over one another, asked unrelated questions, and basically horrified me. One student actually asked me, "What is, exactly, MLA citation format?" Oh. My. God.
Nothing like being a probationary faculty member and having the worst observation ever. Students who haven't attended half the class meetings showed up and asked ridiculous questions, and I kept waiting to wake up in bed, that today was some sort of nightmare.
Now, it is the penultimate class before finals, so the dean has to realize that he is going to observe some all-out student hysteria, but I would've passed out Ritalin if I would have known this was how things were going to go.
Dammit.
so Dancing Girl Press is getting ready to announce their 2009 chapbook lineup, and while I've not received a rejection letter thus far, I've also not received any sort of acceptance notice. So, it looks like I'm not going to have a chapbook yet . . . and I really love that press.
01 December 2008
Oh, yes. There will be author worship.
I can't stop drooling . . . and I don't have to share a hotel room with anyone. I can't imagine it will top NYC in 2008, but I love Chicago, and I'm excited to get to explore for a few days again.
AWP 2009 in Chicago
I found a crazy good deal through priceline where my air travel + hotel was really cheap together, so I was able to stay in a really nice hotel; though it's about 12 blocks from the conference, it's still on Michigan, so the walk will be great.
The hotel is also really close to the modern art museum, and since i will get into Chicago early in the morning [my flight is a red-eye, which saved me from spending another night in the hotel], I can drop off my bags at the lobby with the concierge and go to the museum for the first part of the day, before I can officially check into my room.
30 November 2008
Geek Travel.
So I am a geek . . . my travel plans are set for the next six months, and none of the trips are to the Bahamas, or Mexico, or Europe . . . I'm leaving in two weeks for a week-long stay in Weirton, WV with my parents. Now, I'm flying into Pittsburgh, but I can't justify staying in the 'Burgh when my parents are only 25 minutes from the airport. And, I'm flying in to see them anyway.
I'm not gonna be there for Christmas . . . I'll be spending that here in Roseburg with the cats. I think Steve will be working . . . and I'll save the mother-in-law visit for when Steve and I drive up there together.
So, that's Trip One. An early holiday in West Virginia.
Trip Two is to Chicago, for the annual AWP Conference. It'll be my third year in a row, so I'm excited to go, and I'm hoping I'll be able to schmooze with a few small-press editors, stalk a few poets [Kim Addonizio, watch out!] and visit with all sorts of assy, literary people I secretly hate.
Also, for whatever reason--David Strathairn is going to be there. One of my favorite actors--I've always thought he was quite handsome. He plays a lecherous poetry teacher in Blue Car, but I think he's best known for starring in Good Night and Good Luck.
I'm also hoping that if Chicago poet Kristy Bowen isn't at AWP's book fair with Dancing Girl Press/Wicked Alice [she's not listed yet on the AWP site], then she might be there signing her new book from Dusie Press. Her work is good--and I'm consistently surprised she isn't better known.
Okay, so that's Trip Two.
Trip Three is an extended, hot mess. I'm leaving on June 18 to attend a national mail art conference in Indianapolis--a chance to meet many mail artists I only know from online & art swaps. Then, I'll jump to Pittsburgh, spend a few weeks at my parents and in Pittsburgh. On July 11, my parents are leaving for a week at the Atlantic Coast, so I'm tagging along with them there, and Steve's going to fly into Richmond, VA and meet us at the beach for a week.
Then, I'll come back to Roseburg. So, the third trip will be about a month . . . a long time to be without the cats. hmmm.
I'm thinking about making a trip to Philadelphia to visit a few friends during those three weeks at my parents' house . . . rent a car, or take a bus. Scratch that. I'll rent a car. I have a friend in NJ who could meet me in Philly, and another who lives in the Poconos . . . so we'll see.
Any way around it, though, none of them sound like the dream vacation--Chicago in winter? Indianapolis in June? LOL . . . all of it should be fun, though.
28 November 2008
And let me add . . .
that pie tastes like heaven. Oh. My. God. I bake far too seldomly. or is that seldom?
The Most Beautiful Pie in the World.
for a limited time only, in my own kitchen. It's home-made, apple-pear-cranberry. My cotribution to the late Thanksgiving dinner I'm having today with the dear husband.
Fig.
so i wrote this little poem a while back about golden figs, and now i can't find it. it's not very ME to write about fruit in general, let alone golden figs. however, the fact that it's missing is creating great disturbance in me.
27 November 2008
A free collage sheet!
One reason I love Oregon . . .
Do I really even need to add anything else, besides the photograph? This was taken in late September at Bandon-by-the-Sea, which is about 90 minutes or so from where we live. It might be the worst 90 mile stretch on the face of the earth, but once we're there . . . it's easy to forget the drive.
At this point, I must honestly say that I would be willing to entertain any of my PA/OH friends for a week or two . . . just to be able to share how pretty it is here. Even in Roseburg, the hills and rivers are beautiful . . . I think Steve would like to move up to Eugene or Portland eventually, but I'm pretty happy here. Go figure . . . I wanted to get out of Weirton, WV so badly as a teenager, and now, I'm living in it's mirror image, but 2000 miles away.
Shrink Plastic Jewelry
Okay, so not really creepy, but maybe not what other swap participants are looking for. I would wear one of these . . . and I probably will make a few more. I like the idea of using stainless steel ball chain for the necklaces, but to do a bracelet, I think I'd have to use something with links, to maintain some kind of spacing between charms.
These have three shrink plastic charms, one handmade paper bead [on a colored safety pin], and assorted fibers. New satin and organza ribbons, plus vintage stuff: lace seam binding, cotton rick-rack, and rayon satin seam binding.
Happy Turkey Day.
I'm trying to make a few pieces of jewelry using shrink plastic [for a private swap], but I'm fearing the resulting pieces may be a little too creepy. I don't know yet.
I'll post some pictures later, once I'm done.
26 November 2008
The day before Thanksgiving.
So it's the last day of the week for work . . . the day before Thanksgiving. I have to teach a night class tonight, and I'm not wanting to do it. The last few days have been an absolute swarm of students dropping courses . . . the building has just been a beehive.
I am anxious to do nothing tomorrow but a little catching up tomorrow. Steve and the mother-in-law are both working, and I'm conveniently tucked 2000 miles away from my mother's house. No holiday small talk for me . . . I might spend some time online drooling over who is speaking & presenting at AWP in Chicago this winter.
Speaking of Chicago . . . dancing girl press still hasn't announced their chapbook selections from this summer's open submission period. I'm crossing my fingers. Apparently writers who haven't received an official rejection at this point are still in the running, though the announcements were supposed to be in October. I haven't been rejected yet, so I'm optimistic this could be the year of my first chapbook.
Maybe I'll write on Thanksgiving.
I am anxious to do nothing tomorrow but a little catching up tomorrow. Steve and the mother-in-law are both working, and I'm conveniently tucked 2000 miles away from my mother's house. No holiday small talk for me . . . I might spend some time online drooling over who is speaking & presenting at AWP in Chicago this winter.
Speaking of Chicago . . . dancing girl press still hasn't announced their chapbook selections from this summer's open submission period. I'm crossing my fingers. Apparently writers who haven't received an official rejection at this point are still in the running, though the announcements were supposed to be in October. I haven't been rejected yet, so I'm optimistic this could be the year of my first chapbook.
Maybe I'll write on Thanksgiving.
25 November 2008
A little bit of art.
I made this for a private trade . . . it's a 4x4 collage, featuring one of my favorite Anne Sexton quotes. The piece had to feature a quote re: art or creativity. I wanted to keep it, but it went to my friend Mireya in Florida.
It is acrylic paint over vintage book pages and a Belgian cookie wrapper. There's also an old flash card for the word "palpation" in the mix, too. Rubber stamping, prismacolor pencil and gold embossing powder, too. There is an overlay of clear transparency that's been colored with alcohol inks.
And I've been liking the effect of using staples on a piece like their post-operative stitches on a scar . . . i don't like that it makes the back of the artwork all snaggy, but the front looks kinda neat.
What 75 cents can buy in Roseburg . . .
This morning, during one of my regular trips to what I like to call "The Mall," but what other Roseburg residents call the Salvation Army thrift store, i found vintage beads in their "treasure case" at the front of the store. Look what I scooped up!
in the bottom picture, i paid 75 cents for the white beads--vintage seed beads and vintage white-painted German wooden beads. The black beads are also wooden and vintage Germany--and also 75 cents. The bigger greenish beads are carved wood, and i think they were used as buttons. They were also 75 cents. And, the other lovelies--a broken choker of vintage glass beads--were also the same price.
The big bag in the top photo was 1.75 . . . and has some vintage findings, all sorts of beads and jewelry bits--some new and some vintage. Who is giving this stuff away to charity? Where is the rest of the stuff this cool, dead grandma had stashed in her attic and dresser drawers?
A pretty good day, and that's not including my other goodies. I spent 31 bucks and left with two bulging sacks of glorious junk.
in the bottom picture, i paid 75 cents for the white beads--vintage seed beads and vintage white-painted German wooden beads. The black beads are also wooden and vintage Germany--and also 75 cents. The bigger greenish beads are carved wood, and i think they were used as buttons. They were also 75 cents. And, the other lovelies--a broken choker of vintage glass beads--were also the same price.
The big bag in the top photo was 1.75 . . . and has some vintage findings, all sorts of beads and jewelry bits--some new and some vintage. Who is giving this stuff away to charity? Where is the rest of the stuff this cool, dead grandma had stashed in her attic and dresser drawers?
A pretty good day, and that's not including my other goodies. I spent 31 bucks and left with two bulging sacks of glorious junk.
30 May 2008
A new job for Amy!
Well, I have been offered a job at Umpqua Community College in Roseburg, Oregon, and I've accepted the job. Steve and I are planning to move to Oregon at the end of July . . . and I start work in mid-September. Oh my God.
I have been doing a stinky, stinky job of writing . . . and I have to catch up a bit. However, let me start by saying that I am SO thrilled to be moving out west again! And, it's gorgeous around Roseburg. sigh.
I do love my life right now, even though I do NOT want to have to pack my books and my art supplies. I'm not sure which is gonna be the bigger nightmare.
I have been doing a stinky, stinky job of writing . . . and I have to catch up a bit. However, let me start by saying that I am SO thrilled to be moving out west again! And, it's gorgeous around Roseburg. sigh.
I do love my life right now, even though I do NOT want to have to pack my books and my art supplies. I'm not sure which is gonna be the bigger nightmare.
05 May 2008
OOH! New Job Prospects!
I am not sure I mentioned--my letter of resignation was accepted by JCC, so I'm not returning in fall, regardless of what happens with my interviews in Washington and Oregon.
I also have an interview on May 15 in Roseburg, Oregon, which is only an hour outside of Eugene. This would be a fabulous thing, too. There are real advantages to the position in Aberdeen, but the location of the Roseburg job would put us SO close to Steve's mom. That would be fabulous.
We have to try to get hold of my mom-in-law to see if she'll be able to put me up for a night or two in Eugene when I fly in for the interview. She'll have JUST returned from a 12-day trip to Hawaii, on the SAME DAY I'd arrive, so I'm not sure how stoked she's going to be to feel as if she has to entertain me. heh.
I need to be writing more poetry. I'm embarrassed with my lack of motivation.
I also have an interview on May 15 in Roseburg, Oregon, which is only an hour outside of Eugene. This would be a fabulous thing, too. There are real advantages to the position in Aberdeen, but the location of the Roseburg job would put us SO close to Steve's mom. That would be fabulous.
We have to try to get hold of my mom-in-law to see if she'll be able to put me up for a night or two in Eugene when I fly in for the interview. She'll have JUST returned from a 12-day trip to Hawaii, on the SAME DAY I'd arrive, so I'm not sure how stoked she's going to be to feel as if she has to entertain me. heh.
I need to be writing more poetry. I'm embarrassed with my lack of motivation.
A little catching up to do . . .
So I've been sick. I missed the last month of the semester at JCC. This has made for an interesting paradox, in that I have much more time to be blogging, but also I have far less desire to blog.
I did not win the Gerald Cable Award from Silverfish, and I did not win the Center for Book Arts' 2008 Chapbook contest. I was, however, a semi-finalist for the chapbook contest, which is really neat. Next year's judge is Kim Addonizio, so I will certainly reapply. Somehow, I think that she'll love my work just because I love hers. heh.
Bread Loaf letters aren't mailed until the end of May . . . so I don't know about it yet. I have a few chapbook contests to which I need to submit, but I've been horrible at submissions lately, too.
I did place my short poem "Stew" at JuiceBox, a little & new online journal. Their design is really great . . . I'll be in the second issue. I think their first issue has some good writing and some marginal writing, but I'm overall pleased. When I submitted to the journal, there wasn't a first issue yet, so it was really a blind submission. http://www.squeezetheuniverse.com/juice/
I'm currently, for the rest of today, in Ocean Shores, Washington. I came out on Sunday to interview today at Grays Harbor College in Aberdeen. That was this morning. I had a horrible time of things . . . left my curling iron at home, melted a Tahari skirt this morning with a clothing steamer, and couldn't give an example of a misplaced modifier in the interview. sigh. I was nervous, but the school is really fabulous--well funded, fantastic resources for students, a beautiful campus . . . we'll see if they decide they really want to hire a flakey, tattooed English teacher who wears a black cotton eyelet skirt to an interview. [thank goodness i'd packed an additional skirt at all, or i'd have been screwed.]
Aberdeen is about 2 hours from Seattle's airport, and only 45 minutes from the Washington coast. I'm not sure Steve will like it here if I get the job, but he's game to give it a shot. He may be a house-husband for a while, too, because there isn't really a lot of fine dining around here. Ah, well. With the beach so close, I'm sure he'll manage.
I'm tired. I'll post again this week--I'm sure I'll think of more.
I did not win the Gerald Cable Award from Silverfish, and I did not win the Center for Book Arts' 2008 Chapbook contest. I was, however, a semi-finalist for the chapbook contest, which is really neat. Next year's judge is Kim Addonizio, so I will certainly reapply. Somehow, I think that she'll love my work just because I love hers. heh.
Bread Loaf letters aren't mailed until the end of May . . . so I don't know about it yet. I have a few chapbook contests to which I need to submit, but I've been horrible at submissions lately, too.
I did place my short poem "Stew" at JuiceBox, a little & new online journal. Their design is really great . . . I'll be in the second issue. I think their first issue has some good writing and some marginal writing, but I'm overall pleased. When I submitted to the journal, there wasn't a first issue yet, so it was really a blind submission. http://www.squeezetheuniverse.com/juice/
I'm currently, for the rest of today, in Ocean Shores, Washington. I came out on Sunday to interview today at Grays Harbor College in Aberdeen. That was this morning. I had a horrible time of things . . . left my curling iron at home, melted a Tahari skirt this morning with a clothing steamer, and couldn't give an example of a misplaced modifier in the interview. sigh. I was nervous, but the school is really fabulous--well funded, fantastic resources for students, a beautiful campus . . . we'll see if they decide they really want to hire a flakey, tattooed English teacher who wears a black cotton eyelet skirt to an interview. [thank goodness i'd packed an additional skirt at all, or i'd have been screwed.]
Aberdeen is about 2 hours from Seattle's airport, and only 45 minutes from the Washington coast. I'm not sure Steve will like it here if I get the job, but he's game to give it a shot. He may be a house-husband for a while, too, because there isn't really a lot of fine dining around here. Ah, well. With the beach so close, I'm sure he'll manage.
I'm tired. I'll post again this week--I'm sure I'll think of more.
25 February 2008
One contest down . . .
Perugia Press released their winner for the 2008 poetry book contest, and it wasn't me. LOL! I did enter, though there were a few contests I entered in Fall 2007 for full-length book publication that really were probably shooting too high. The bulk of my manuscript was my thesis, and in my thesis defense in November, all three members of my panel told me that there were two really strong chapbooks in my thesis--maybe the start of a third. However, they didn't think that it was cohesive as a book. So, I'm certain that I'm now just waiting for the other rejections to roll in, too.
I do have a chapbook manuscript out . . . I'm hoping that it has a shot. It's all my sexier poems, I think. Some about marriage, some about the spaces outside of marriage. I'm thinking that the juxtaposition of domesticity and things that are decidedly NOT considered domestic acts will be interesting to some editor . . . somewhere.
An awful day at work . . . it's the week before spring break, and students just aren't reading or writing. I'm pulling teeth in every single class. I came home, cancelled plans, and took a nap. sigh.
I do have a chapbook manuscript out . . . I'm hoping that it has a shot. It's all my sexier poems, I think. Some about marriage, some about the spaces outside of marriage. I'm thinking that the juxtaposition of domesticity and things that are decidedly NOT considered domestic acts will be interesting to some editor . . . somewhere.
An awful day at work . . . it's the week before spring break, and students just aren't reading or writing. I'm pulling teeth in every single class. I came home, cancelled plans, and took a nap. sigh.
23 February 2008
Something I just realized . . .
I mentioned chatting with some guy at Bateau Press's table at AWP, and I just realized that it was the editor & founder, James Grinwis. I didn't know . . . he writes some pretty interesting prose poems/flash fiction things. :D And he was very nice.
A rejection letter.
The Tusculum Review sent a rejection letter--though it did indicate that I could send again for the fall 2008 issue. Still, I was getting a little excited; they had my work for a while.
Paper Street is taking "Wading," an older poem . . . the poetry editor and founder, Arlan Hess, was an adjunct instructor at Robert Morris University at the same time as me years ago. I don't think she knew who I was when I applied--I now go by my married name. Regardless, it's a nice looking print journal that's getting some good work out there.
I also have a chapbook at the Boom Chapbook Contest through Bateau Magazine. I would not have even known about the contest, but for seeing Bateau at AWP this year. One guy at the table chatted a bit, and their first chapbook is lovely. Bateau, the journal, is lovely. Someplace that is definitely into putting work out in elegant books.
I need to get off my rear and apply for a few jobs--spent most of last night working on these awful online applications that colleges are now using for their hiring process. ugh. I also need to get a few more chapbook drafts out in the world--I've earmarked a bit of the old tax return to fund that.
Oh! And I applied to Bread Loaf. I rec'd my verification postcard yesterday. :D
Paper Street is taking "Wading," an older poem . . . the poetry editor and founder, Arlan Hess, was an adjunct instructor at Robert Morris University at the same time as me years ago. I don't think she knew who I was when I applied--I now go by my married name. Regardless, it's a nice looking print journal that's getting some good work out there.
I also have a chapbook at the Boom Chapbook Contest through Bateau Magazine. I would not have even known about the contest, but for seeing Bateau at AWP this year. One guy at the table chatted a bit, and their first chapbook is lovely. Bateau, the journal, is lovely. Someplace that is definitely into putting work out in elegant books.
I need to get off my rear and apply for a few jobs--spent most of last night working on these awful online applications that colleges are now using for their hiring process. ugh. I also need to get a few more chapbook drafts out in the world--I've earmarked a bit of the old tax return to fund that.
Oh! And I applied to Bread Loaf. I rec'd my verification postcard yesterday. :D
22 February 2008
A bit of good poetry news!
My poems are going to be on wicked alice! I'm so excited about this . . . it's an online journal (the editor is Kristy Bowen, who is a fabulous poet in her own right. her book the fever almanac is lovely . . . and she has two new books coming out! holy crap!) Kristy is one of those younger women poets that i just love; knowing that she's picked three of my poems for wicked alice was thrilling.
http://www.sundress.net/wickedalice/
The winter 2008 issue went up recently . . . I've not yet read it. This publication credit brings me a great deal of joy. She's publishing "Office Hour," a poem I wrote about a history instructor at my job, and "Pittsburgh Women Are Divisible by Three," which I'd not sent anywhere else, and "Swallows," one I wrote for my thesis right at the deadline. All three were written in Fall 2007, so it's nice to have new work going out and getting snapped up.
Sigh. I just need to start writing more often, so I can get a cohesive full-length book collection together.
http://www.sundress.net/wickedalice/
The winter 2008 issue went up recently . . . I've not yet read it. This publication credit brings me a great deal of joy. She's publishing "Office Hour," a poem I wrote about a history instructor at my job, and "Pittsburgh Women Are Divisible by Three," which I'd not sent anywhere else, and "Swallows," one I wrote for my thesis right at the deadline. All three were written in Fall 2007, so it's nice to have new work going out and getting snapped up.
Sigh. I just need to start writing more often, so I can get a cohesive full-length book collection together.
Work Updates
So I need to spend a bit more time in here . . . update things and such. I need to start being more proactive about blogging. I'm in the process of applying for a few jobs in Washington state; the hubs and I are thinking that it might be good to be living somewhere we can see ourselves indefinitely before we buy a house and put down real roots of our own. So, on that front, I have a few applications and copies of my vita to send out this weekend. Cross your fingers for me--I'm hoping to at least get a call back.
Community college jobs are a bit different than those at four-year schools. Not only are the course loads usually a bit bigger (four to five courses per term vs. three to four courses per term), but the amount of administrative tasks that are delegated to faculty members are more time-consuming and more numerous at community colleges, in general. Not that teaching is easy on any level, but community colleges usually don't have the administrative staff that four-year schools have.
So, when a community college hires, they might be willing to hire someone who has only an MA or a MFA, but that person needs to have community-college teaching experience, knowledge and experience with course-level assessment (and sometimes program-level assessment), someone who can design and teach online classes, someone who can (and will) devote hours every semester to advising students--and not just those in their major, but also a large number of transient and undecided students who sometimes don't even belong in college yet. The potential faculty member also must be someone with experience selecting textbooks and designing a course curriculum on their own . . . and someone who's willing to serve on a variety of committees. This is all exhausting work--but in many cases, a candidate with this kind of experience in her bag of tricks is going to be serious competition to a candidate who has a PhD but no teaching experience beyond her teaching assistantship. But that's just my opinion.
And my hope, too. I've done all of these things and more for over five years at my current school. I'm hoping that the places I'm applying will see me as a real contender for these faculty positions, because there's very little they can throw at me that I haven't already had to do at JCC. I'm still going to cross my fingers, though . . . just in case.
Community college jobs are a bit different than those at four-year schools. Not only are the course loads usually a bit bigger (four to five courses per term vs. three to four courses per term), but the amount of administrative tasks that are delegated to faculty members are more time-consuming and more numerous at community colleges, in general. Not that teaching is easy on any level, but community colleges usually don't have the administrative staff that four-year schools have.
So, when a community college hires, they might be willing to hire someone who has only an MA or a MFA, but that person needs to have community-college teaching experience, knowledge and experience with course-level assessment (and sometimes program-level assessment), someone who can design and teach online classes, someone who can (and will) devote hours every semester to advising students--and not just those in their major, but also a large number of transient and undecided students who sometimes don't even belong in college yet. The potential faculty member also must be someone with experience selecting textbooks and designing a course curriculum on their own . . . and someone who's willing to serve on a variety of committees. This is all exhausting work--but in many cases, a candidate with this kind of experience in her bag of tricks is going to be serious competition to a candidate who has a PhD but no teaching experience beyond her teaching assistantship. But that's just my opinion.
And my hope, too. I've done all of these things and more for over five years at my current school. I'm hoping that the places I'm applying will see me as a real contender for these faculty positions, because there's very little they can throw at me that I haven't already had to do at JCC. I'm still going to cross my fingers, though . . . just in case.
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